Family Business Succession

I’m 24 years old. I saw the same dentist from as early of an age as I can remember, all the way to about age 19 or 20. Then, I stopped going. Our family dentist was a nice guy, but I think he was a bit old school with his methods and technology. I don’t ever remember a painless visit to the dentist, even for a cleaning.

Worse, I seem to be cursed with terribly weak teeth. I have eleven fillings in my mouth. Eleven. Now, I’ll admit I was one of those kids who needlessly rebelled against oral hygiene, but I didn’t start getting these cavities in rapid succession until I was a teenager. I brushed my teeth daily for the most part. I used mouth wash a few times a week. Yes, I could do much better with taking care of my teeth, but I’ve always wondered why other people seem to go most of their lives without a cavity.

My wife, for example, grew up poor, never saw a dentist. At age 21, she saw a dentist for the first time to have her teeth cleaned. They checked her for cavities. None. And she brushes her teeth daily, doesn’t use mouthwash, and only flosses when she feels something stuck in her teeth.

So, it’s obvious my teeth require more cleaning effort than others might in order to keep them healthy and prevent decay. And that’s my own fault.

Now, I’ve lost a filling in front left canine (I think it’s referred to #11). For the past two months, I’ve been patching it myself with temporary over-the-counter filling, but I know I can’t keep doing this forever.

My fear of the dentist stems from the chastising I’ve received over the years from the assistants/hygienists when they see my teeth. I have a lot of opaque white spots, which I’m told are the beginning signs of decay. My teeth aren’t in any pain except for the occasional sensitivity, but I know there are cavities there. And all I’m ever told is I’m not really brushing well enough. Even though my fear of the dentist has instilled mild obsessive compulsive behavior about the cleanliness of my teeth, all I’m ever told is I’m apparently not brushing well enough.

I’m going to have to get this cavity refilled. And they’re going to find other cavities (I think I was told I had one forming last time I was at the dentist). I feel bad for not wanting to go see my old dentist, but I just don’t know if I can face him after bailing on him without a word for the past few years.

What are dentists and hygienists supposed to be like? Why am I afraid to be chastised by someone who should be grateful for the business I’m giving them?

Beyond the emotional fear, I also have the physical fear. I’ve developed a very intense fear of pain in my teeth. I am very sensitive to the pain in my mouth, as most humans are, but it’s gotten to the point that I would almost prefer to be put under anesthesia and wake up with a nice set of dentures.. synthetic and painless.

Believe me when I say one of the more pleasant cavity fillings I’ve experienced was the one that was done while I has having my wisdom teeth removed. In fact, the wisdom teeth procedure itself was the most pleasant experience I’ve had at the dentist. Because at least I was given nitrous and local anesthetic.

Can dentists put you under general anesthesia for root canals and cavity fillings? I suspect that’s what I’m going to be told I need at this point.

Sorry for the long post, but this impending obligation has been haunting me for some time.

Oh wow..you are really getting yourself worked up and I feel so badly for you. I’m a dental hygienist, have been practicing for 20 years and it makes me hang my head in shame whenever I hear a story like yours…how a patient feels "chastised" and like they are being lectured by their hygienist. That is NOT the way to work with a patient, I will never wag my finger in a patients face and lecture them. Never. My job is to work WITH a patient and teach them about their own body/health so they can do the "homework" in between appointments. We have the same goal, your very best oral health and it takes both the dental practioner and the patient working towards this goal to make it work. When a new patient comes in to me (or one that hasnt’ been in for years) and starts to tell me they are so sorry or so ashamed, I stop them and tell them it doesn’t matter where they’ve been or haven’t been in the past, all that matters is that they are in our office right now and we’ll go forward from that moment. Heck, I a mom to two teenagers, I know what happens when you lecture someone…they shut down on you and don’t listen. Don’t worry about offending your old dentist, they weren’t meeting your needs at their office, as a matter of fact, their technique was doing the opposite of helping you, it was causing you to avoid them. Ask your friends, co-workers, etc who they recommend as a good dentist and hygienist, people love to share when they find someone they trust and enjoy. Then make an appointment and tell them you are fearful, you’ve been lectured before and that’s not what you need, you need someone to TEACH you how to brush and floss properly. It’s part of a hygienists job and responsibility to teach our patients these methods, have them use a mirror and show you on your own teeth or a model how to brush and floss. Then ask them to watch you as you try to replicate what they’ve shown you so you can be sure you are doing it right. You are young, it can be common to have alot of cavities in the teen years but then you start to get more as an adult in between the teeth (if you aren’t flossing correctly) and you can’t tell you have them without xrays. If you catch a cavitity on xray when it’s small, it’s a very simple, often completely painless thing to fix. The problem is that most fearful patients put off going to the dentist until they are in pain and by then they are already anxious and hurting…it’s not going to be a good experience at that point! Make an appointment for just an exam, have them do xrays and look at your teeth, find out how many are decayed, get a "game plan" as far as what you are going to need done. And have the dentist or hygienist thoroughly explain how to brush and floss (mouthrinse isn’t necessary unless they give you a special prescription strength fluoride rinse to use). You should probably get them cleaned before starting to do alot of fillings, and a hygienist can and should be able to do a good cleaning without hurting you. One more thing, it’s too risky to put a patient under general anesthesia for simple procedures such as a filling. But often there are offices that "cater to cowards" and use nitrous oxide (laughing gas) for nervous patients. Ask about that when you are calling to make your first appointment, see if they can use nitrous if you are very nervous. Good luck to you!

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